The election

Right then: tomorrow's the day. Federal election in Australia and one is almost numb with fear that the spiteful midget Howard gets re-elected. I wouldn't be all that surprised: each country gets the government it deserves, and Australia at the moment would indeed be best represented by a xenophobic beancounter with his head up the American arse and an Excel spreadsheet where his heart should be.

This used to be a really nice place. It's possibly more obvious to me than to long-term residents, because I travelled here in '87 and again in '93 before moving here in '99. In that respect, I'm like your Auntie Ethel who you only ever saw at Christmas and who invariably remarked upon how you had grown that year, whereas your immediate family was reasonably blind to that fact. If you only ever see things intermittently, you'll notice change more readily than others, because it isn't gradually creeping up but sudden and hence clearer.

The difference between Australia 2004 and, say, 1993 couldn't be starker. I think it's fair to predict that another 3 years of Howard will finish Australia's reputation off internationally - it's unbelievable how the Liberals are playing into the hands of all those eurocentric backpackers (let alone the British pissheads choking up my neighbourhood in summer) who think that Australia's basically a second-hand Britain/USA; and an uncultured, uncouth, uncultivated dump to boot. The sad thing is, another 3 years of the Libs and their stupid flag and sodding Queen and GODDAMNED BRADMAN and revolting sycophancy to the UK and US will mean that they're right. Well done, Libs.

So please Australia: anyone but Howard tomorrow, even that poor excuse for a "Labor" politician Latham. ANYONE! You can catch the results here. And another thing: it's the first election post-Iraq of the Coalition of the Killing countries. We'll see what the citizens of these "great Western liberal democracies" (TM pending) think of outright imperialist aggression. My guess is, they'll think it's quite alright, as long as it keeps darkie off their doorstep. Mark my words: Howard, Bush and Blair will get re-elected. How sad is that?

And, of course, a pox on my house. 16 years under Kohl, 2 years under Major, 5 years under Howard and counting - wherever I live, the conservatives have their arthritic fingers grasped around power. Death follows me around like a bad smell. So if there's any conservative nutcase in New Zealand, Spain or Brazil (you know, countries that conservative nutcases are claiming to be socialist nightmares) reading this and wants to sponsor my move - just leave me a comment. I, like everyone else in this once quite pleasant nation, can be bought.